How reckless is too reckless

Life is fun these days. Weird fun. But fun. Everyone is going leaps and bounds in their career. Four years post start and they are VPs, Leads and what not. And being in a company which is not so generous in terms of employee progress shows the toughest phase at this stage. Like, what were you doing all these years? What did you compromise on and what did you earn after all this time? Was it all worth it? And more so, now what? Now that so many are already a step ahead, or you are already falling behind, now what? It is at this time that your brain too chooses to leave you for you to fend for yourself like everything else and everyone else.

Now what?

Now. Now, there is only one path. Like an age old sermon, it somehow hangs over your head at this time and only at this time if you have been reckless till now – never think it’s too late. There is not wrong time to start. Similarly, there is not right time to start. Just start. Please start. But do start. Everyone invests sometime not being on their toes all the time. And people probably told you this already but realise it that it’s okay. Just, wake up when you hear the call. Because everybody passes through the day. You should pass through it at the time you would like the most. And when your heart is telling you it’s time, it is time.

Don’t let other’s success overwhelm you. Similarly, there is no need to feel bad for your position. It’s like, more or less, you will do it. Your way. There is no worth in copying what has been done. So, do it. Your way.

Why making fun of women is acceptable but of men is offensive.

I have wanted to write this post for some three days now. But, I couldn’t raise my interest levels as high to dis more about inequality. Frankly, now I am as bored if not more as the Canadian eye-candy Prime Minister,

And now, three days later, I am feeling the same. But, I don’t even want to let this topic just drop, because it’s the easiest for most if we just stop talking about it. So, what this topic is eventually, is some of social responsibility (that one which not includes just talking on online platforms), some of frustration venting and a lot more people analysis.

 

What I want to analyse about people is why it is easier and more acceptable in society to dis about women than men. Take the entire ‘Not All Men’ movement for instance. It’s a big deal if women turn accusatory towards men in general. But every time a woman is made fun of for her driving skills, it is supposed to be taken with humour because ‘it’s just a joke!’. Not much if a man is made fun of about the same. No. No no no. You cannot just come up and challenge a man’s ego by challenging his driving controls. You did not just..

Why then, is the other round acceptable is what I don’t understand. Calling a woman ‘stupid’ is fun. Calling her ‘pretty (&) stupid’ is supposed to be the funniest joke of the year but calling a guy stupid is trying to bruise his ego and being personally offensive. What I mean is, even if not in general, the specific offences targeted at women is meant to be taken lightly but you are always supposed to think it through when you are releasing challenging statements for a guy. It’s only reasonable to be not able to get this small issue correct but say I want to get it right. Do we have a guidance?

Flying Ideas I: Interview and Interviewer

A new segment we have here! Hurray. <Not meant to be deadpanned because of the period.>

So, what brought upon this segment, I ask myself. And you are free to ask as well! Then here it is – Interviews. Tadaa. Not much of a revelation. 😛 But, not just interviews. What actually brought this upon is the flying imagination of a writer. We will see water flowing and imagine the seven seas even if the water is flowing because a glass toppled. So, this segment is for sharing that. The scale to which our imagination grows unparalleled. And unparalleled it is. No two writer has the same skills for extrapolation. They are as different as the finger prints in the world. But one thing is certain – you will enjoy the heights to which our thoughts can make castles. Welcome to one such castle.

 

Scene – Interview. An open office area. A glass-paned chamber for a conference room overlooking the office area. The same used as a venue for interviews.
The interviewer standing by the glass pane. Probably looking at your resume.You are guided by the HR to the room. Room opens, the interviewer turns. Asks you to join.

Accelerated brain’s working: Stopped for any questions which are to follow. If you are smitten, overdriven brain imagining this shit:

1x-1

Say thank you. The brain is frozen. The interview is screwed. You are done here. And for life. You go back, realising how your current domain is not made for you. Then what is? Imagination. Let it feed you for a while. You know you can survive on it for your entire life.

Congratulations upon the new flying idea. Keep more flying in. They are the fodder. Good luck.

What does the song make you feel? – Humnava (Hamari Adhoori Kahaani)

A post after long! Today, I am on a Papon marathon and there are only a few things one would prefer over a Papon marathon! His voice is a gem. No wonder, the moment he sang “Baat gulon ki zikr mehak ka achcha lagta hai kyun”, the idea to jot this down struck. Listen to it:

We have all heard that love is a garden, love is the balloons in the movie Up, love is the sweetest blossoms in the lawn; but it is this song which truly makes this feeling seep into our skin. “Un rangon se tune milaaya, jinse kabhi main mil naa paaya; dil karta hai tera shukriyaa – phir se bahaarein tu laa de!” Oh, why! When you cherish your lover as a blind guy would their doctor, a lot many decisions are made easier instantly. When you are grateful for all that you are getting in your life, well, life’s sorted. “Waise to mausam guzre hain zindagi mein kayi, par ab na jaane kyun mujhe wo lag rahe hain haseen!”  Like Jim Carrey said,

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

Like one from that everybody suddenly found that answer! What more to say than “Inki taraf do kadam to badha de” because take that step when the chance comes. Else, you would never know! ❤

What does the song make you feel? Ishq Mubarak – Tum Bin II

Have you ever been anxious with the want of falling in love? Have you ever wanted yourself to fall in love like, right now? I have. And the ways this song resonates to me, oh.

“Ae mere dil mubarak ho, yehi to pyaar hai!” We have the classics, “teri baarishein bhigaye mujhe” and stuff which usually happens, you know. When you are in love. Except you came to realise only now that you want to congratulate your heart for finally falling for the feeling that was meant to be, since the genesis of hearts. And subtly, oh-so-subtly, while we are on it, congratulations for the pain, ‘dard mubarak’. Because inseparable.

One doesn’t seem to realise when this song finishes. While you are still lounging in the soft, at-heart, mid 90’s songs’ music, in the familiar lyrics, everything has a finality when the song does stop. Like, congratulations, it’s done now.

What does the song make you feel? – Roke na ruke naina – Badrinath ki dulhania

At this rate, I have no idea where Arijit Singh is going to stop. When he is singing, we can feel him crying like hell. Like, roke na ruke naina. The song can be interpreted in such a various ways. ‘Tu jo nazron ke saamne kal hoga nahin’ – can be someone going off, someone breaking up to never meet again, even someone dying. No wonder how such simple lyrics can be relatable to so many. And this relation is what binds this song to a place deep in our hearts. When he says ‘ishq mein kaisi ye bebasi hai’, the helplessness – the grief – the anxiety of doing nothing but watching what is happening with tied hands – because sometimes, the control is just not with you. Sometimes, the other person needs to understand your helplessness and work upon it – because these unexplainable moments are the one which make the true permanent bonds. And permanent heartaches, otherwise.

 

This is one such song which makes you feel the love even if you haven’t fallen in love ever. This is one such song which makes you regret having a stoic heart and makes you jealous of the lucky people having it all, yet fucking it up royally. And if you are the person who can relate to this, it makes you regret about something you might have fucked up royally. In the worst case, this song leaves you helpless about what could have beens and the messed up scenarios. And that is the worst and the best place to be in – your personal, enchanted time.

 

Royally in love with this song. 

Obsession of people with virginity – piousness/ coolness

Only a few years back, and even now in not-so-modern society, the virginity of women was a sacred object. This, is not an unknown scene. And what happened afterwards is also not unknown, but misconstrued. Or misunderstood. At least what truly happened is misunderstood, even if the heart was at all the right places.

So, what happened thereafter was this: people started protesting against the crimes done in lieu of protecting the sacred virginity (of women, needless to say). And they told everybody what only the women have rights over their own bodies. Which we understood. Alas, they didn’t. And gradually, they started judging women who keep their virginity intact till late in their life (their definition of late). Gradually, remaining a virgin started being ‘uncool’. This was the beginning of obsession of people with (losing their) virginity and making it a cult, thereby associating it with coolness.

And now, we have a divide. Like there exists for the APLs and the BPLs. Like with upper-castes and lower-castes. The cool-contemporary people and the 28-year old virgins and classes like that. And I want to coolly remind them at this: you don’t have a fucking say in that. It’s my choice. Even if I give myself a choice or not – that is my choice. Stop behaving like literate fools.

We are nothing but a bunch of ignoramus followers. But we do one thing others don’t – we associate our brainless ideas to the cult we begin to follow. Be virgin – please, everyone should be a virgin (if unmarried). Stop being a virgin – please, lose your virginity as soon as possible and diss all those who choose to do otherwise. Call them names. Make fun of them. A bunch of fucking losers, right? Yes, that is exactly what you are.

An idea: please read about the next cult you start to follow aloud. Try to understand the motive. And if it is still very difficult, go to a college. Learn. Learn like hell. And even then, don’t fucking impress your thoughts on anyone. This post is an exception to this rule. Because, it’s high time.

All about using the much revered menstrual cup – a post tailored for India

Fancy saving the world? Worried about news articles like this or this? Frantically looking around for methods which will help keep the earth green and less toxic? Found the magic product – the menstrual cup – tried, failed, retried successfully but now get a headache every time it is required? Well, you are not alone.

The first time I found about it, and ordered it and received it, well, this is a story in itself. So, let me tell you how I managed about it. Psst! Don’t go around trying to buy Diva Cup from India. Or from anywhere. There aren’t exactly very great reviews about it even internationally, I found this by the amount of information I voraciously swallowed from blogs, write-ups, YouTube videos and what not. So, Diva Cup is just a well-marketed product. The first cup I found about was Diva as well, and it is the same for almost all the girls I have discussed cups with. So, I tried to find it on Amazon.in . One seller sells it, in a pack of four though. And I was apprehensive about buying even two together because it is not something like one size fits all. And the pieces are not exactly cheap. Also, there is a lot much information about low cervix, high cervix and the tailored products available for all the conditions, needless to say, none available in India. So, eventually, I came upon this site. And it is a saviour. Although there is nothing like feeling shy for buying a menstrual cup – more and more girls should try and make their surroundings comfortable about it. I don’t, by any means, intend to negate the negative experiences girls have about buying sanitary products online. But, whenever I have been out to buy a sanitary product, I have asked for it upfront and then, the shopkeeper probably feels too weird to be awkward about it and hence, acts cool. Which is my luck, because I have not had a bad experience. So, I hope more and more girls try to open up if their surroundings is not too intimidating.

Anyways, coming to the point. So, I bought this product from ShyCart (no endorsements, no promotions. Plain personal experience). The delivery was smooth. I received the product, was happy with myself and then, after some time, my periods actually started. So, using this thing is a bit tricky. You read a lot of stuff, make a list, think of trying it all one by one – the ways of insertion, the folds for the cup, the position you are in. And it is true, one way doesn’t suit everyone. And it takes a lot of practice. It took two cycles for me. At this point, let me suggest you one thing. If you are still on pads, switch to tampons for some time first. Even twice or thrice is cool. They will acquaint you and make you comfortable about trying cups – taking one step at a time.

So, once you are ready and mentally prepared to Just Do It, lie down. No, literally. Don’t try hovering over the toilet seat and shit like that. Lie down anywhere. In the bath area, fuck it, I lie on the bed. Clean yourself up, spread a towel and lie on the bed and crouch. Best way to proceed. Moving on to the next hurdle, the fold. Try this:

keeper-71

<image credits to this.>

Best fold ever. And the only one that works, trust me. Works for more women that any other. Now, the cup might slant while inserting. Don’t try to correct it right away. Try upon half-insertion. Correct it, push and do some kegel muscle exercises. Just three-four suck-ins would do. The cup will fit at the right place, all vacuum. There is not way for the cup to be unopened, leaky or anything of that sort post this. I have tried it all, rotating the cup as advised – doesn’t work. I have been conscious several times I feel a leak – false alarm. Just, take a deep breath.

Which brings us to the last step – removing it. In that domain, we are at a far better place in India than women in multitudes of countries. We have bidet – say thanks to it. Squat at the toilet seat, get hold of the cup base – it is hide and seek at times it rides too high, but not undoable. Get a hold of the base and squeeze the base. This is the best way and is better than inserting finger all the way up and detaching the build vacuum. Pinch the base and shake it – left and right. And pull slightly. When it is almost the tip – go in and twist it inwards in a punch-down fold. Empty the contents, don’t look down, flush and open the bidet to clean the cup. Thereafter, re-clean with soap if the place permits. Now, reinserting might be tricky if you are at a public washroom. So, for some time, try it when you are home before you graduate to another level. Keep trying. And tell yourself it is good for the earth we live in and for the future we want to see.

 

And last, but not the least, I had my times when I started hating my periods because of the shit I need to do. But everytime I thought of using the pad and the mess I was in for the entire day – not to mention the drought pads and tampons leave me in with all the soaking up – I think of the one time efforts, draw my windows shut, put up a good song and do the boring 30 secs task of insertion and I am happy the three days, because the laziness kicks me in only the first day. Once you cross that, you are rolling, mate! 😀 *Hi-five*

 

P.S.: Please feel free to leave questions, if any. I would answer them to my best. And make the switch. Let’s give ourselves mess-less, drought-less, guilt-less days of periods.

What does the song make you feel? – Dum dum (Punjabi Version) – Phillauri by Romy

Without much introduction, this is a new category I am starting in which I will try to update my feels for the songs – bollywood, hollywood, french and anything I get my hands on. Or anything which gets to my brain and my heart, more of.

So today, it is Dum Dum Punjabi version by Romy.

This song is from the recent take of Bollywood at romance and other than the shiny ending, the movie does good things to our hearts. And so does Romy – much, much more than what the movie did though. He is a fresh, really fresh change for our ears. His effortless singing does something very, how to put it, rhythmic to our heart. So rhythmic that it resonated with our heart beats and I cannot help but feel elated. This song, and Sahiba by Romy again is what I have on loop these days, for the last 6 days at least. The was he says ‘Chit lagda naa ve Jogiya.. ae moh-maaya janjaal ni‘, it’s like the happiness we feel when we say ‘Zindagi jhand hai fir bhi ghamand hai‘ and feel light instantly. Such a light hearted flow to the song, it’s like he is personally talking to us and letting off all our tensions. And the parallel – ‘baaje dil iktara naal ni‘ – it’s like there are the pains the taut strings of iktara would feel if alive, being constantly plucked at – but the rhythm and the music that is produced is out of the world and soothes all pains, for the instrument as well as for the listeners. When they say ‘Hansde ve umaraan variyaan ni’, you are ready to give it all.

 

There cannot be anything better, I think. That was what made Arijit Singh tick as well, I think. The effortlessness, the relatability  and the comfort of a heart-to-heart. I hope to hear more of Romy. For me atleast, ‘Dum dum ishqa goonjda, baaje dil iktara naal ni’.

 

P.S. I don’t even understand Punjabi. This is probably the first Punjabi song I like so much. It helps that you don’t need to understand a lot of Punjabi to get the meaning. It helps that the lyrics were kept so simple-worded. We have to thank Shellee for that. For the feels, I easily rate this 4.5/5 . Sometimes connections and relatability pays way more that awe.

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