I am a 25 year old single girl living in a metropolitan city in India. And when people tell me that they think I try to play hard to get, I cannot look for a better joke or a more pathetic analysis. And this is what I want to tell them – I am a 25 year old single girl living in a metropolitan city in India. But the issue is, this is what they want to tell me too – that I am a 25 year old single girl living in a metropolitan city in India. And we can only imagine that everyone knows that already. Now, literally everyone.
Then why is there so much wavelength gap between my actual thoughts and people’s notion about me? Why do they think that I deliberately try to play hard to get? When my motive couldn’t be any further, possibly?
The reason is hurting, disappointing and too proud for our temper:
When I am playing hard to get, the real problem is that I am unreachable for most of the approaches (ahem, all of them till now, *cough cough*) and hence, the grapes are sour. The people around me have the right questions: why not give it a try than be a stick-up-the-ass till I turn 30? To them, my question is, tell me how. And this one is not rhetoric.
I really want to know how to open up? How do I make myself more reachable? Do I have to think about it all the time? Like you think I am already doing when I try to play hard to get? Do I constantly need to make people at ease around myself? Because even I am not comfortable around a throng, let alone put others at ease.
The problem is, to be more approachable would be to change me as a person. I am ambivert and don’t ease up readily. But when I do, I am a buddy. That probably never makes me reach the place of being considered as an available option and this is where the problem deepens. I don’t want to be considered as an option. Nor do I have a rockstar personality or model-looks which could make people buzz around me all the time. The problem is that I want to let the feelings come on their own for both the parties and that is taking an eon or maybe forever, who knows? The maths is pretty screwed up.
The reason for all this shit is pretty straight-forward – people need to be validated. I need to be validated and that makes me question myself and others for what they think of me. People need to validate themselves and that makes then judge others and make opinions. The crux is, let us let go of the validation.
Let us stop judging people – who has the time? Everyone has got a different personality and if theirs is not the same as ours, it is only better for a balance of the universe and survival of the genesis. There is a reason why people like each other – there is a way affection works. If we think good about others, we would naturally like them the feeling would grow mutually.
Let’s end this need for validation and judgement. Let’s try to find the goodness in everything around us. Let’s try to understand the shells people have around them and let’s try to find our way around it. Let’s try to find the walnut. Let’s try to fish for some seeds and life. Let’s try to make better of this pun: