So, I woke up from my deep sleep at 1 am today to a commotion of shouting people discussing an issue of national interest – when a girl or a guy is pursuing another for a matter probable of mutual interest, how do we validate their behaviour?
The arguments were these : Say we have two people, when a girl asks a guy to talk to her because she has no one else to talk to, but does not want to take the relationship anywhere, is that right? Is a girl justified in wanting to keep a guy as a friend but use him whenever she wants for whatever favours she wants? And I failed to understand why either of them need to be wrong or right in a state of being they mutually decided to reach to.
Now, I am not questioning either of them. I am not trying to argue who is right and who is wrong – that matter is completely out of relevance for me here. The point is, in this hypothetical scenario, the guy and the girl are here out of self interest. Nobody forced them into this state. They both approached each other probably to start a relation, whatever relation the might be. Then, one of them loses interest, say the girl does. Both eventually draw out, they couldn’t reach somewhere they thought they would. Now, either could start wallowing in the fruitlessness of the investment of time or interest and the other might be hurt by the outcome and shit but still, the point is, they started something and it finished; end of, no?
No. People have to turn this into war of some sort. They have to validate something they could relate to. Uselessly. Fruitlessly. They have to make one person a survivor of some sort and the other, some villain. I refuse to recognise either. The only issue I recognise is, I will say this again, our need to validate something we could relate to. Needless to explain, this stems from our insecurity for ourselves. It’s high time we understand that enough is enough. Our insecurity, our feeling of lacks has been propelling unnecessary debates, giving rise to needless trends, funding several needless products in market and is swirling millions of money everyday into the hands of people who don’t deserve it and blowing it out of our own.
Our insecurity for our looks is funding million-rupees industry of stupid fashion, like cakey and harmful makeup, tough-to-wear-and painful-shoes, unsuitable-for-weather clothes and what not. Our insecurity with where we are and the need to ‘discover’ our true place is pumping money out of where it is required to funnelling our lavishness of extravagant travel. Our insecurity of our being is funding money into all sorts of self-help training and curriculum we take out of hobby and forget later. Now, I am not saying either of the things mentioned here is bad. The point is, each of these have their dedicated use. What we are doing with them, though is over exploitation. And over-exploitation does just one thing – depletion of resources. And I don’t understand the why part if it all when all we have to do is be satisfied and happy with what is. A relationship worked? Good. It turned into ‘just-friendship’? Better. How many real friends do we even have in our lives? It is never going to be too-much.
So, let’s try for things we want. But let’s not start the blame game or the ‘it’s not enough’ monologue every-time something doesn’t turn out the way we want it to. There is a very optimistic saying in Hindu society: Jo man ka hua, achcha. Jo mann ka na hua, aur bhi achcha. (Translation: If something happens the way we want it, good. If it doesn’t happen how we wanted it, even better.)